When angels fall
by Killingdanse
Summary: When an angel falls literally, into the lives of two people who are already fallen. A different kind of angel fic. It is rated M for just about every warning possible. If its dark its probably in here. Dark!fic, very dark themes. If you don't like dark don't read it. If dark disturbs you don't read it.
1. Chapter 1 Sometimes they just fall

Ok first off… Don't own anything except for the occasional angel, demon, or random killer bunny.

Second… sick and twisted doesn't begin to describe what is in my head if you don't like it don't read it. If it can be done it probably will be and soon…

Third… No beta reader so no censor and no grammar, story, etc checking forgive me my mistakes as they are mine to make.

Sam stared distractedly out the window of the Impala. His usual position when Dean was blaring his music and ignoring him completely. He wasn't sure what had upset his brother Dean this time but it wasn't anything that he could help. He always seemed to be angry these days. He closed his eyes for a moment letting his abilities out of their cage. He gradually reached out around him searching for his next source of power. He would never tell Dean this but after Ruby and the panic room he still craved it and once in a while still drank it.

"Dean," Sam yelped as a bright light streaked across the night sky he was reaching out to.

"What?" Dean snapped back annoyed at being interrupted from his own thoughts. Sam pointed out the window as the light fell slowly to earth. "What the fuck?" Dean whispered as he watched the light fall.

"Comet, meteor shower," Sam sighed, "Not tonight not at least one that I know of"

"Nerd" Dean grinned still watching the light streak across the sky.

Dean pulled the Impala to rough side of the road. He stared at the flash as it descended into the darkness. The bright orange of flames leaped from the trees near where the object had to have landed.

Grabbing whatever weapons that were handy the brothers walked carefully toward the circle of fire. Entering the rapidly dying fire both boys stopped and gaped. The two hunters stood staring at the thing on the ground before them. A broken and battered body lay on the blackened grass. Dean spun in a slow circle looking at the burned out pit in which they stood before turning his hazel eyes back to their current problem. Its breath hitched in its throat as one strangely feathered appendage flapped weakly for a moment before becoming still again.

"Wings Sammy, it has wings" Dean stuttered staring at the still form for a moment. Sam knelt down beside it his hand automatically going for a wrist to check for a pulse. The pulse was there, weak and thready but there.

"She's still breathing, we have to do something" Sam shook his head.

"Hospital?" Dean frowned.

"Hospital is still out, it has wings." Sam gave his brother a scolding look before answering, "I can see that but we need to do something."

"Vet?" Dean smirked.

"An avian one maybe?" Sam raised an eyebrow a frown creasing his brow.

Dean looked at him quizzically, before asking "Avian?"

"Yeah they take care of birds" Dean reached down his fingers grazing what he thought would be soft feathers only to feel the sharp bite of razorblades sliding through his skin.

"Fuck" He held up a bleeding hand. "The damn things are sharp."

"Look Sammy I don't think this is a bird" Dean replied looking at the all too feminine features of the broken woman. He knelt down looking closer before reaching out to touch one of the appendages that stuck out at odd angles from her back. The girl moaned as if in pain.

"It's not possible right?" he asked struck by the jealousy in his own voice, "I mean when Cas is here he doesn't have them right?"

Dean just shook his head. "Maybe we should call him"

"He hasn't answered in months, do you really think he will now?" Sam growled.

"It's one of his own maybe he can help?" Dean closed his eyes in concentration begging once again for his angels help. He shrugged. "We could just leave it." He suggested half hoping his brother would agree knowing he wouldn't.

"Dean we can't, we just can't"

"I guess we could take her back with us?" Sam watched Dean's reaction to this carefully his green eyes locking with his brother's hazel ones.

"Ok but this isn't a lost puppy and we have to watch those wings." As if in response the appendages give a halfhearted flop slapping onto the burned ground with a slight wet thump.

Sam leans down and gently brushes his hand on the pale white skin of the girls face. "We are trying to help," he whispers gently as he slowly slides on hand under her back careful to avoid the deadly wings. As he moves her she whimpers softly in pain her body tensing. "Dean I think she's hurt pretty bad, I still think a hospital…" He trails off staring at the brilliant almost metallic glint of her wings in the moonlight. Sam strips off his jacket ignoring Dean's protests as he slides her onto it careful to keep away from the razor sharp blades of her wings.

"Sammy we don't even know what she is, for all we know she could be a demon." Dean cautions as Sam starts to carry her to the Impala.

"Umm, a hand here" Sam staggers a bit under the weight of the girl, she shouldn't weigh so much. Sam glances down thinking about how small she is in his arms. "Dean could you at least keep the wings from scraping the ground."

Dean looks at him frowning before removing his favorite leather jacket and using it to shield his hands and arms before scooping up the bits of wing dragging on the ground as Sam moves. "Red," Dean whispers as he examines the wings more closely.

"What?"

"Their tipped in red" Dean mumbles as they slowly move their injured prize to the car. She was light really no trouble at all to carry except for the wings. Dean finally looked down. "Umm Sam?" he asked tentatively.

"What?" his brother snapped glancing over to Dean.

"You realize she's naked"

"It took you this long to notice?" Sam asked incredulously.

"Umm yeah strange huh?"

"Not really, wings and all"

Dean grunted "Don't you think we should cover her up?"

Sam gaped, "You consummate womanizer want to cover her up?"

Dean just shook his head and smirked, "We'll do it in the car."


	2. Chapter 2 Dean thinks

Don't own them just playing with someone else's toys….

Just stick every warning possible on it…

She remembered falling, the incredible searing heat of it. She remembered screaming her voice magnified by the flames. She remembered wind tearing at her body and soul. She remembered the impact and bones snapping until her body was shattered and then she remembered nothing.

"It's just first aid" Sam frowned maneuvering the woman out of the Impala and into the seedy motel room looking for all the world that he was carrying a dead body and hoping that they could catch a break and no one was see.

"Sam I think this goes a little beyond first aid, I think this goes from first aide all the way to completely insane." Dean said hotly carrying the other end of their blanket wrapped bundle careful to avoid the sharp feathers rapidly slicing through his favorite jacket.

"We couldn't just leave it," Sam sighed kicking the door open after unlocking it.

They set the bundle on the bed none too gently. "There goes the security deposit" Dean grumbled pulling the blanket off of the woman. "Shit" he stared down at her. Her pale face was covered in black and blue. Sam nudged him as he stared. It took a few times before Dean realized what Sam was trying to hand him. "A first aid kit Sammy I think we might be a bit beyond first aid." Sam shrugged watching the blood soak the blanket beneath the girl.

"We've patched up worse."

Dean shook his head at his younger brother. "Ok where is the worst of the bleeding coming from."

"Umm" Sam sighed gesturing to the blood soaking the thin blanket and inevitably the bed beneath. Taking a deep breath he put a hand on her shoulder and gently pulled her onto her side. "Fuck me" Dean said turning slightly pale. He stared down at what would have been a perfect back if it had not been smashed and looked for all the world that it had been through a meat grinder.

"Dude, we know this, patch what we can set what we can and start with the worst." Sam sighed wondering vaguely if it was all impact with the ground that had caused the injuries. Sam cocked his head to the side looking at her once more before heading to the bathroom to go some wet towels to start cleaning the worst of the blood, dirt, and burned flesh off.

He closed the bathroom door behind him for a moment. "Just for a minute," he thought to himself before a wave of pain hit him. No vision, no revelation just pain. He laid his head on the cool porcelain trying to swallow back the inevitable nausea. "I shouldn't have been looking." He shook his head trying to clear it.

"Yo, Sammy towels, sooner rather than later," he heard Dean call from the other room. Sam dragged a few towels from the rack not wanting to glance in the mirror, knowing what he would find there.

Sam wet the towels and walked back into where his brother was still staring at the shattered creature. Handing the towels to Dean he reached over and skimmed a finger across the slivery feather-like blades hissing slightly as it cut easily into his fingertip. No more than a paper cut but still enough to realize how sharp each feather, if you could call it that, was.

"Can you move one of them?" Dean asked trying to get between them to wipe the blood from the girls back. Sam shrugged and gathered the blanket around the joint of the wing and pulling outward slightly. A soft sound issued from the girl. Both boys eyes snapped up watching the girl carefully.

"Hang on there," Sam whispered to her, "We're just trying to help." When the girl didn't make another sound Dean continued reaching as gently as he could and wiped down her back. A shudder escaped her and the wings tried to retract closer to her battered back.

"Hold her Sam I don't think this is going to be easy," Dean slowly swiped a wet cloth along her back clearing the blood from a large deep gash. Fresh blood glistened from the open wound. "You see that Sam?" Dean stared at the pooling crimson. Sam just stared. The blood glistened with a fiery light of its own. It seeped down from the wound shining. "Is that doing what I think it is?" Dean got no answer.

"Sam?" "Sam?" Dean turned toward his brother, "Sam!" he snapped just missing the open dilation of his eyes. Sam blinked his voice slow, "Yes, I see it."

"What the fuck dude?"


	3. Chapter 3 Different views

"Nothing" Sam said entranced. "You ever see wings like that on an angel? We gotta get them away from her, their cutting her."

Dean snatched the sheet from the other bed and quickly wrapped the dangerous wings away from the angel's body. Shaking his head he watched her carefully "They don't breath so how do we know she is alive?"

"Um…" Sam still stared at the bloody sheet encircling her wings, "I guess we don't."

Sam shrugged pulling gradually away. "Her blood is different from ours, go figure" he lied smoothly. Sam tried to keep the subtle tremble from his voice as he watched the glistening red slip into the blanket. He licked his lips his skin pale.

"You ok dude?" Dean looked at Sam carefully. "You don't look so good."

Borrowing one of Deans lines Sam whispered "I'm fine."

"You don't look fine," Dean started but was cut off by another sound from the girl. He set to work on the worst injuries to her back which consisted of crimson lines running down it. As Dean washed the blood away he notice that there was not pattern to this it just looked as if someone had taken a razor to the angels back. "These will need to be stitched," Dean said.

Sam handed him the first aid kit without a word. He watched the blood trickle down the angels back licking his suddenly dry lips once more, "I gotta get out of here," he was still transfixed on the blood pooling on the cheap motel bedspread.

"Sammy you have to help me," Sam's eyes snapped up to look at Dean as he rarely admitted to needing help with anything. As Dean stitched up the worst of the cuts and bandaged the rest Sam continued to study the wings.

"One hand raised to heaven, one wing dipped in blood," Sam mumbled as examined the wings closer without touching their razor sharp edges. He noticed that the red on the tips looked a lot like dried blood.

"What was that?" Dean looked confused.

"Just something I remember someone saying once," He frowned not remembering where he heard it. "It is about the angels that were God's vengeance." He shook his head catching himself just before he ran his fingers into the still wet blood on her back. Dean looked at him worried. Sam just shrugged and gently laid the wings back down with a blanket between her wings and skin. Dean finished covering her now bandaged back. He stepped back for a second looking at the angel as Dean ran his hands along her arms reaching the shoulder. "Dislocated" he muttered and sighed. "It would be easier with some kind of pain killer but I am not sure it affects angels." Dean didn't trust himself as he looked back at Sam. He recognize the look in Sam's eyes where was somewhere between lust and hunger as he stared at Dean.

"Sammy, are you sure you are ok," Sam just shook his head realizing he was sliding his eyes over the hard plains of Deans body. He snapped himself out of it. _I love my brother but not in that way," _he lied to himself stepping forward to check for breaks on the side away from Dean.

"Hold her down while I set the shoulder," Dean said wishing he had downed a lot more alcohol before he did what needed to be down. As Sam leaned over to hold her shoulders down with callused hands, he took a deep breath watching the wings carefully.

"Ready," Dean asked. Sam nodded and as soon as he did his brother snapped the shoulder back into the socket with a wet popping sound.

The angels wings reacted to the pain lifting up and driving the razor sharp feathers into his chest and stomach ripping open his t-shirt.

"Shit," Dean gasped and moved quickly around the bed in order to help his brother. Sam in the meantime to pull himself of the feathers that impaled him. When he pulled out the pain hit him like a sledgehammer. His brother gasped and fell back against the other bed sliding down to the floor. He glance down at the blood seeping from his chest and stomach.

"'m OK Dean," Sam mumbled trying to block out the pain like he was taught so perfectly to do. He looked down again. "I don't think she got me that bad." His voice a whisper.

"Damn it." Dean swore, "I need your help with this Sammy you can collapse in a bit." As much as he hated leaving his brother in pain he knew that the angels must be much worse. Sam stood and took up his post.

"Maybe we should turn her over. With the bandages and comforter she shouldn't cut herself up again." Sam breathed deeply trying to cover the wounds so Dean wouldn't see and feel guilty as he always was when Sam was hurt. He reached over gently turning her on her back. The girl let out a high pitched scream at the movement making the brothers involuntarily cover their ears. Then to their amazement the wings retracted closer to her body as if they were trying to go somewhere before flaring outward again, nearly catching Dean as he struggled to get her on her back. When she was finally flipped over and in what appeared to be a vaguely comfortable position.

"It's ok, it's ok," Dean murmured as he checked her neck before moving down to check for broken ribs. He was vaguely aware of the position of his hands on her chest as he searched for more injuries. Sam took the other side watching Dean's hands roam over her chest. A hot burning roared in his chest at the intimate nature of the exam. He quickly took up her arm and checked it over carefully.

"Broken wrist, cracked ulna," Sam cataloged the injuries as he found them before moving up to her head. "Cracked skull, mostly in the back, and an orbital fracture in the right eye. He took a chance and opened her eyes with his fingers. He was suddenly staring at what would have been brilliant blue eyes had they not been dull and lifeless. The angel began to shake as Sam started wrapping her wrist and arm. "Nothing we can do about the head injury at least not until she wakes up.

Dean checked her pelvis searching for movement in the bone. Sam growled softly wondering what was wrong with him. Even though the angel was stark naked he didn't think she was a cupid. When they had searched her legs and wrapped both ankles and feet due to what could be another break. Sam finished and looked up to find Dean staring at him strangely as he leaned down and brushed the angel's silver and gold hair out of her face. "And I am the one that is the pervert," Dean smirked trying to lighten Sammy's mood. It had always worked in the past but Sam had changed in recent years. Dean found himself staring more and more at his brother in a most unnatural way.

Reviews are like crack to me. Tell me if you like it so far or don't like it. It is my first so I am desperate for feedback.


	4. Chapter 4 First aid

Please excuse the length of this chapter. I am having a hard time writing. I know where I want the story to go my mind just won't let it. I will post more soon. As always reviews are like crack and I would like anyone who reads to give me pointers.

Don't own them I just like playing with someone else's toys.

"Sammy?" Dean question as his brother sat down suddenly on the other bed. Only then did he notice that Sam's shirt was covered in blood. "What the fuck?" Dean stepped over to Sam and gently lifted the hem of his t-shirt. He suppressed the urge to run his fingers along the flat muscle of his brother's stomach. He shook his head, _what the hell are you doing Dean? _A small voice inside his mind whispered. He looked up at Sam to see if he noticed anything out of place. Sam's eyes remained fixed on the angel in the other bed. Dean pulled the shirt up more revealing a gash that spread across his chest running with blood.

"Sam," Dean's voice cracked a little as he spoke. "Sam" he said again still not able to gain his brother's attention. He snapped his fingers in front of Sam's face.

"She's not like the other angels." Sam stated flatly his voice distant.

"Uh… yeah I got that." Dean shook his head at his brother's strange reaction to their latest guest. "Sam, I need to bandage this."

"What?" Sam seemed to snap back to reality. "Oh that it's just a scratch." Sam stood up shaking himself off. He grabbed his cell phone and said, "I'm going out." He snatched the keys to the Impala off the nightstand. "Keep an eye on her OK."

"Yeah, sure." Dean didn't know why his brother was acting weird but with all the weirdness lately he really couldn't blame him. The last few months had been nothing but weird. What with him being pulled out of hell and then thrust back into hunting almost immediately. He caught himself thinking of Sam more and more often. Despite the secrets that Sam was keeping from him he could not close his eyes without seeing his brother's highly toned and muscled body. _You are one sick puppy._ The small voice reminded him. He bent down to rummage through his duffle bag searching for the bottle of Jack that he had stashed there. He sighed and took a long pull from the bottle. _You are supposed to watch her._ "Shut up," He said out loud to no one. "Just shut up," he took another drink and contemplated the creature before him. She was beautiful in an angelic sort of way. Come to think of it he hadn't seen an angel yet whose vessel wasn't attractive and often wondered if they just picked them that way. Except for Zachariah who adopted an older balding vessel, he had to wonder about that choice. He sat watching the angel wondering.


	5. Chapter 5 Sam needs a break

Sam closed the door of the hotel behind him softly leaning back against it. Reaching into his jacket pocket he pulled the keys for the Impala out and stepped over to the gleaming black car. He noticed how his hand shook as he slid the key into the lock and turned it. _You need it Sammy boy, _the voice came from beside him. _Maybe this time it won't make me go away, maybe I will just stay a while. _

Sam shook his head sliding behind the wheel of the car. He leaned back and closed his eyes his mind reaching out, seeking, feeling, and caressing the minds around his. It wasn't long before he found what he needed, what he craved or what craved him he wasn't sure which. Turning the key he put the Impala into gear and drove towards the bright glowing feeling that he'd found.

SPN

Sam spotted the woman he was looking for just after closing the Impala door. She was sitting at the lunch counter at the truck stop drinking coffee. No doubt she had just stopped for a break while on the road, something he'd done a thousand times. He took the seat beside her reaching out with his mind just to make sure. _You know she's carrying, _the figure beside him laughed _And I don't mean a child_. The voice laughed at its own joke.

"Long drive," Sam asked casually using his power to pull at the girl a bit. The girl blinked, shaking her head slightly. She couldn't have been more than 20. Her short pleated skirt and green blouse screamed private college.

"Yeah," She said in a soft sweet voice. Sam pulled a bit harder at what was inside her. "I know what you need," her voice changed as her expression changed something darker than the sweet college student slid behind her eyes.

"Then give it to me," Sam grinned wickedly. The girl took stood sliding her hand into his pulling him towards the dirty truck stop bathroom. As the door swung closed the smell of old urine and stale cheap soap assaulted Sam's senses combining with the smells of diesel fuel and the rumble of the big rigs outside. It almost made him gag but the sweet scent of the girl's blood overpowered his revulsion. He leaned down to press his lips against hers. "God, she's tiny." His mind whispered "Don't do this." He blocked the thought before it could continue. He needed this he needed it to stop the madness that raced through him. He silenced his mind by deepening the kiss and opening his eyes just a crack. Black eyes stared back at him and his mind was made up.

He pushed her against the wall hiking her skirt up around her waist. She didn't resist as he tore away the white cotton panties she wore in modesty no doubt.

"Is this what you want…" the demon girl grinned changing from the shy sweet girl who'd been at the counter to what was really inside in an instant. Sam growled loosening the fastenings on his own jeans, he was already rock hard at the thought of what was to come. He slipped a condom on. He lifted her legs around him using the cold tile wall behind her to hoist her up onto him. As he entered her she groaned and her head fell to the side. Sam grinned closing his eyes as he leaned in and placed a kiss, finding the soft pulse point on her throat. The demon girl laughed at the gentleness of the kiss.

Her laughter was cut short a hard thrust into her as he opened his mouth and bit down on that pulse point. His teeth pierced her flesh as he moved inside her. The demon girl threw her head back and screamed causing Sam to put a hand over her mouth. He looked up once more at the black eyes as they closed in ecstasy. Sam smiled knowing that she didn't realize what was about to happen. He let the blood flow from her neck for a second before locking his mouth down around the wound and sucking at it. The power flowed through his veins like quicksilver as his thrusts became harder. He let his mind shut down as he continued to fuck the girl and drink his fill. He felt her heart against his racing as fast at first, then slowing gradually as more blood flowed into him. Her heart pumped slower and Sam knew he should stop but it felt too good. He felt himself build until with a guttural scream of his own he came inside the girl feeling her heart stop.

Sam stepped back letting her slide down to the filthy floor of the bathroom. He shook himself. "You didn't have to kill her," his mind taunted, "look at what you did. Look at it." Guilt swept over him despite the power that held him enthralled. The girls throat was chewed open blood still slipped sluggishly from the wound with no heartbeat to push it out. Sam's stomach churned as he stared at the young girls body. He turned toward the sink and without looking in the mirror he rinsed his face and hands off before buttoning his jeans. The water in the sink ran red, then pink, then clear. As it swirled down the drain Sam unsnapped the leather band that he wore around his right wrist and slipped his left hand behind his back pulling out the knife that Dean had given him a long time ago. He pulled the blade across the top of his wrist creating a deep thin cut beside the growing number of scarred, healed, and healing lines. He snapped the bracelet back on noting the blood turning the leather a darker shade as it seeped through. The pain grounded him, told him what he had to do. He turned towards the girl's body trying not to look directly at it.

"I didn't have to kill her." He said to himself closing his eyes as he lifted her. Tears slipped down his cheeks as if to try and wash the guilt of what he'd done away. He walked to the last stall, the one marked out of order and dropped the body into it, closing the door on his sin.

He glanced at the mirror finally making sure there was no visible blood on him and rinsed his face letting the rush of demon blood fill him and make everything all right again.

Sam shuddered as the power screamed through his body. _She used to be human, she didn't deserve that._ A quiet voice whispered in his head. He looked at the mirror again shaking his head, "She was a demon," he growled. _She was a human,_the voice persisted.

He dropped his head unable to face the reflection that stared out at him, accusing him. "I did it because I have to," he whispered not sure who he was trying to convince. He let his sandy hair fall in front of his eyes closing them trying to block the images that raced through his head. He sighed heavily as he left the restroom to order dinner for Dean leaving the girl's body slumped in a filthy bathroom stall.


	6. Chapter 6 Awake

**Disclaimer – **Don't own them if I did I would be doing wicked things to them right now instead of just dreaming about them.

Thank you UnknownUnseenUnheard the review was much appreciated.

Just stick every warning possible on it…

Sam shuddered as the power screamed through his body. _She used to be human, she didn't deserve that._ A quiet voice whispered in his head. He looked at the mirror again shaking his head, "She was a demon," he growled. _She was a human, _the voice persisted.

He dropped his head unable to face the reflection that stared out at him, accusing him. "I did it because I have to," he whispered not sure who he was trying to convince. He let his sandy hair fall in front of his eyes closing them trying to block the images that raced through his head. He sighed heavily as he left the restroom to order dinner for Dean leaving the girl's body slumped in a filthy bathroom stall.

Dean sat on the bed opposite the angel staring at her trying to figure out what and who she was. It was a hopeless endeavor, "It isn't like the answers are just going to jump out and introduce themselves," he said to himself. A strange clicking noise filled the air as they did just that.

With an ear splitting scream the angel suddenly woke causing Dean to reach up to cover his ears. Her wings flexed slicing cleanly through the blankets that wrapped them. They spread almost impossibly wide razor sharp tips almost touching Dean where he sat stunned. His had slipped over to the angel blade he kept next to him a remnant of a betrayal so recently suffered. The metal was cool against his fingers as he brought it forward folding against his arm in a fighting position. He slipped further back on the bed avoiding the clicking metal feathers of her wings.

Dean edged carefully off the bed avoiding the outstretched wing remembering what it had done to Sammy's shirt and chest. _Don't think about that_, he shook his head. He stared at the angel waiting his stance ready just in case she turned out to not be so friendly. He already had firsthand experience in what happens when you trust angels.

As suddenly as they spread the metal wings collapsed around the girl as she screamed again, this time Dean couldn't help but cover his ears as all of the glass in the room shook from the power of it. He slammed his eyes closed the shrill sound lancing through his skull threatening to shake that too. As the sound dissipated he felt more than heard the thing on the bed move. He pried open his eyes dropping into a defensive stance the angel blade held ready should it be needed.

The angel was sitting up on the bed. Terrified silver eyes met Dean's hazel ones for a minute widening her arms coming around her body in an attempt to cover herself. Dean reached toward her in what he hoped was a nonthreatening way, too late he realized that his hand still clasped the blade. She spun overbalancing and falling backwards off the bed with a muffled thump.

"Damn it," Dean growled now staring at the empty bed. _Sam where the hell are you when I need you, _he thought as he edged around the bed carefully. When he reached the other side he gaped at what he saw. The tiny figure was huddled in the corner of the motel room her back to the wall and her wings wrapped around the front of her like a metal cocoon. The only thing visible to Dean was the top of her silver and gold head. The sound of rattling metal and ragged breathing whispered across the room. She was shaking uncontrollably. Dean stretched out a hand to reach for her only to realize that touching those wings would not be a good idea. He had never seen something look so vulnerable and so deadly at the same time.

Leaning over he gingerly and touched the top of her head hoping to give her some comfort. To late he realized that this was a mistake. As his hand came into contact with her, her wings unfurled and she tried to rise. Dean scrambled back only to hit the wall behind him with hard crack. From her crouched position her wing came around pinning him where he stood. Even taking a deep breath would put him in contact with the red-tipped razor edge of her wing. Her silver eyes stared raked up his body with open malice.

**Review please it would be great to know if anyone likes this.**


	7. Chapter 7 Dean loses his head

**Please mind the warnings – **

_Leaning over, he gingerly and touched the top of her head hoping to give her some comfort. Too late he realized that this was a mistake. As his hand came into contact with her, her wings unfurled and she tried to rise. Dean scrambled back only to hit the wall behind him with hard crack. From her crouched position her wing came around pinning him where he stood. Even taking a deep breath would put him in contact with the red-tipped razor edge of her wing. Her silver eyes raked up his body with open malice._

Dean winced as he felt blood trickle down his neck as the razor sharp wing pressed closer. The room was filled with the sound of her harsh breathing as she stared at him. He raised his hand in a gesture of supplication trying desperately to show her he meant her no harm.

"DARSAR OI Castiel?" her voice came in a harsh whisper a strange echo along with it. She stared at Dean crouched in what was unmistakably an attack position, as if she were going to leap forward and slice cleanly through Deans throat if he answered the obvious question wrong.

"Cas?" Dean said slowly focusing on the only word in her question that he knew. The razor sharp wing retracted a little bit. "It's ok" he whispered seeing her back up just a little bit. _And where the hell was Sam,_ he thought frantically. He tried to speak in a soothing tone. "It's going to be ok." He whispered stretching out a hand. "_Where the hell was Sam_" he thought frantically. He lifted up his hand palm out trying to placate her realizing his mistake a little too late. He closed his eyes as the wing snapped forward. In his mind he can see it slice cleanly through his throat his own blood adding to the red tips on her wings. Amazingly there is no pain as it severs his spinal cord and his head flops backward with a sick thump. _"Wait why am I seeing this?" _his mind questions. He cracks open an eye focusing on the scene before him. She is staring at him again, that razor sharp weapon poised against his throat.

"Well at least that's a good thing," he mutters trying to find a way out of this situation. The blood running down his neck and onto his shirt was starting to get annoying. The angel looked annoyingly beautiful and dangerous crouched down covered in blood. If it weren't for the blood she would look like something carved from marble. Dean allowed himself to stare at her for a second.

"Qui sunt vobis?" Ubi est Castiel? Her voice was contained an edge of raw panic as her eyes darted around the room searching.

"Ok, Latin, I think, where the hell is Sam?" Dean tried to look directly into those eerie silver eyes, "You just need to wait until Sam gets back, he knows Latin." _Where the hell is Sam? _his mind echoed as Dean tried to gauge how much time had passed before since Sam left.

Sam smiled at the aged waitress as she handed him his order. She gave him an odd look.

"You OK son," she asked watching him carefully.

"I'm just super," Sam bit out trying hard to keep the sarcasm from his voice. Power rushed through him so much that his hands shook with it. "Did you make sure that the pie was in there," he looked back at her trying to maintain a smile.

"Yeah," She said shaking her head as if to clear it, "Must be for someone special."

_You have no idea how special, _Sam thought his mind drifting to Dean. "Yes it is." He watched the waitress carefully as she stared at him.

"Are you sure you are OK,"

"Of course, never better, why?" Sam ground out wanting for her to stop looking at him half in pity and half in concern.

"Because you're bleeding," She stated reaching out for his arm. Sam flinched back his eyes widening. Glancing down he realized that there was blood sliding out from underneath the leather bracelet to drip down hi s arm.

"Shoot I must have cut myself," he said aloud realizing that the statement was literally true. He reached over and grabbed a few napkins, "I will take care of it when I get home," he tried to smile reassuringly at the waitress.

The motherly woman looked at him oddly as he smiled, she brushed gray hair away from her face frowning. "Be sure you do," She said creases in her brow coming out. Sam reached out and put his hand over hers. "It will be all right." He said sincerely his touch soothing her as he felt some of the power move from him to her. "I promise it will be all right,"

The waitress smiled faintly her eyes clouding. "Yes," she said mechanically, "It will be all right." She echoed.

_So easy so completely easy_ Sam's mind whispered, he shook his head as he stepped back from her. _ Weak minds, _the voice inside his head laughed. Sam moved toward the door feeling the power course through him. Getting into the Impala he set the food on the passenger's seat and stopped for a moment. _You're getting better kiddo, _his mind mocked him, _a few months ago you would have just driven her insane._ Sam sighed and flicked his hand starting the car. This shouldn't be getting easier. Putting his hands on the steering wheel he sighed.

Dean shifted slightly uncomfortable from holding his position for so long. His eyes dropped down to the stained carpet underneath the angel.

"You need to relax." He tried is award winning Dean gorgeous smile.

The angel merely watched him blood dripping from the dozens of wounds that were slowly healing on her body.

"Qui sunt vobis?" Ubi est Castiel?" she spoke again repeating the same words sounding for all the world like the words were hard to speak.

Dean shook his head. "I can't understand you honey," he said beyond exasperated. "You know I can't understand you." As he spoke he realized his mistake. The angel tensed again the wing coming closer to his throat with a faint metallic rattling. He realized that she was shaking and only then did he notice that the silvery eyes contained a fear that he couldn't understand. He opened his mouth to speak again when he heard the door rattle. _Shit, _his mind screamed as the door opened and he felt the wing start to slice through his throat with visceral clarity.

"Dean," he vaguely heard Sam shout and then a soft thump. He didn't realize that he'd squeezed his eyes shut until he had to force them open. Everything was frozen for a second while he turned his head away from the deadly metal to look at Sam. His mind refused to believe what his eyes were seeing. Sam stood with his hand out, palm outstretched toward the angel a grimace on his face. His eyes slid closed again as he slipped from consciousness feeling the cold metal slip from his neck as he slid down the wall leaving a bloody trail.


	8. Chapter 8 and Sammy loses his

Lyrics and inspiration gratefully received from Skillet, who sings a song called Monster which is ever so perfect for this. The Latin is followed by the English translation so no one would be lost I am sorry if it interrupts the story.

_The secret side of me, I never let you see  
>I keep it caged but I can't control it<br>So stay away from me, the beast is ugly  
>I feel the rage and I just can't hold it<em>

Sam glared at the angel he held as his brother slumped against the wall blood pouring from an impossible wound. It soaked into the drywall of the under the window.

"What did you do Bitch," his voice came out strange, "What the fuck did you do?" Sam felt rage flood through him. It seeped into his muscles and screamed to be let out. He wanted to kill her in that moment demons and angels be damned , all he wanted to do was slit her pretty throat as she had slit Deans. "CAS," he screamed his mind reaching for the angel. "Cas you get the fuck over here Right fucking now." He held the angel in the room with his mind pacing the room trying desperately not to look at the blood pouring from his brother.

"CAS, I did a lot for you Now you get the fuck here NOW," He screamed into the empty air. He stretched out his mind grasping the angel with all the power he had. He could feel it crushing her, bearing down on her like she did to Dean. With a shriek she pushed against it. She gasped as her throat closed.

_I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin  
>I must confess that I feel like a monster<br>I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun  
>I must confess that I feel like a monster<em>

"Auxilium, ego potest auxilium?" _Help I can help him _The angel choked out. Sam's head snapped around to regard her everything in him wanting to hurt her.

"Clausa Canis" _ shut up bitch _he yelled watching her chest heave.

"castiel meae et auxilium," She gasped.

_It's hiding in the dark, it's teeth are razor sharp  
>There's no escape for me, it wants my soul, it wants my heart<br>No one can hear me scream, maybe it's just a dream  
>Maybe it's inside of me, stop this monster<em>

"Non pacisci te stultus canis, Redintegro eum aut finem te" I don't bargain you stupid bitch, Fix him or I end you, Sam growled moving to his brother clasping his hand over the gaping hole in his neck, not caring that blood covered his hands. "Fuck Castiel," He pushed and her wing was forcibly retracted.

"S,my" Dean tried knowing that this was it, he was going to die.

"Telekinesis bitch" He glared at the angel. He clutched his brother to him.

_My secret side I keep hid under lock and key  
>I keep it caged but I can't control it<br>'Cause if I let him out he'll tear me up, break me down  
>Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end?<em>

"figere nunc." Sam growled, nothing mattered to him right now.

"Smy no" Dean sighed laying his head back against his brothers shoulder as Sam held him "Lv yu" he managed before his eyes slipped closed. "mine," was the last word that his mind was able to form as it gradually began to grow dark.

"No Dean, not yet" Sam whispered urgently willing Dean's heart to beat even though there was nothing to beat against. "No" he wimped as he forced the heart to beat his eyes moving toward the angel that was writhing on the floor. "Figere Nonc" his voice sounded foreign even to himself.

"Fix It Now" he repeated in English as he gradually released his power letting her move.

He didn't neat to repeat himself but held Dean protectively against his chest as the Angel moved forward towards the pair.


	9. Chapter 9 Choice of infections

"Fix It Now" he repeated in English as he gradually released his power letting her move.

He didn't neat to repeat himself but held Dean protectively against his chest as the Angel moved forward towards the pair.

Sam growled quietly as the angel touched Dean's neck. He kept Dean's heart beating and his lungs taking in air in his twisted form of CPR. He knew Dean was dead without it so he did it keeping the steady rhythm up while he waited praying that this would work. _What if she can't heal him? _The evil little voice that knew all his weaknesses whispered, _Then I will get Cas to do it? He won't do it for you _the voice continued. _Yes, I know but he will do it for Dean. _Of this Sam was certain. Cas would come he just had to keep his brother's heart beating until he did.

Sam looked down at his brothers pale face he watched as he continued to hold onto Dean's heart. He watched as the blood he was pumping through Dean's body leaked slowly out of the slit that almost separated Dean's head from his shoulders. He shuddered realizing that there was less and less coming out. Most of the blood from Dean's body soaked him, soaked the wall, and soak the floor. The gash popped open with a sucking wet sound every time he forced air into Dean's lungs showing the pink of the inside of Dean's throat. His mind cataloged and labeled every part he saw, spinal column, esophagus, tongue, and trachea… it continued. That's the part of the tongue that no one should ever see it helps in swallowing but it shouldn't be on the outside. Sam shook himself suddenly noticing tears sliding down his cheeks into his brother's severed throat. He whimpered and held his brother closer to his chest kissing the top of Dean's forehead he whispered, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Please don't die, I'm sorry, it's all my fault, I'm sorry, I did this to you," He continued to murmur apologies into Dean's spiky hair. "Please don't die, I'll fix it, I'll beg Cas, I love you, he'll do it for you, just don't go. I can't live without you. I love you, just hang on"

The angel stared at the pair for a moment not quite knowing what to make of the scene. It obviously loved the human, it was angry before, it hurt her. She cocked her head to the side, it hurt her because she hurt the human, the human that was now being kept alive by it. She was confused. It was whimpering and muttering in an odd language, the same language the human used. It could kill her she thought. It would kill her if she didn't do something to help the human. She moved slowly forward her hand sliding over its. As she touched it, it burned cold, the feeling snaked up her arm wrapping around her heart. She felt raw pain in a way she never had before. It scorched through her burning her. It's head snapped up at her touch and she met two very human hazel eyes that pleaded with hers.

Dean wasn't sure what was happening. He heard vague shouts and threats. His brother was here. Sammy was here, the angel would kill him, he had to do something but he couldn't move. He tried to breath and found he was breathing without his knowledge. _What the hell,_ the words drifted through his mind. _Oh that's right I'm dead. The angel will kill Sam, have to help Sam, have to protect Sam. _He tried to open his eyes but there was just darkness. _Cas _he pleaded to an angel he hadn't heard from in months. _Cas just don't let her kill my brother_. He felt nothing but sadness as a thousand memories of he and Sam washed through his mind. Times when Sammy was sick or when Sammy was hungry or cold. Sammy clasping his hand through a nightmare. Sammy hugging him when he should have been comforting him. Sammy throwing himself into the pit to save him and the world. Sammy running from a clown who got too close when he was 10. Sammy coming home broken and bleeding and wanting his big brother. Sammy holding him as he died when the hellhounds came for him. Sammy, his Sammy always being there when he was hurt, worrying when Dean showed the slightest sign of unhappiness. His Sammy who he curled around when Sam was hurt or scared. _So I guess you really do relive your life when you die. _He felt his heart beat, why was it still beating he though belatedly as silver fire shot through him. _Don't hurt Sammy _ was Deans last thought as the pain took over peeling every defense he had against it away.

"Reficere non possum omnia experiri non posset constituere non possum plene reficere" _I can't fix it all I can try but I cannot fix everything I might not be able to fully repair_ the angel whispered scared that she had to bear witness to such pain. The thing looked back at her no anger in its eyes now only sorrow and hurt. She couldn't stand that look it crucified her. She'd done this. They took her and helped her and she'd done this. She leaned into the pair reaching toward the human she touched the gaping wound on his neck. She screamed as pain shot through her mixing with love and fear. She heard and felt what was going through the human's barely alive mind. _How was he still holding on?_ She sighed doing the only thing she knew how to do. She let her grace slip from her body into Dean's. It met the resistance of another but she pushed past it. She tried to imagine what things looked like when they were whole.

Dean screamed or rather he didn't scream as much as gurgle. Sam's eyes bolted to the angel that touched the wound in Dean's neck, he watched as the slim fingers dug into the wound. Sam almost stopped her. Then he felt the thready heartbeat and Dean's gasping breath. He held Dean still as he writhed against the intrusion into the wound. _Please be fixing it _he thought as he watched Dean's flesh knit together beneath her hand. What little blood Dean had left still poured from the wound but it was closing. Slowly but it was closing. The angel's voice joined Dean's steadily growing scream until she fell back obviously exhausted, her pale skin shining white under the crimson mask she wore as a result of her own injuries.

Sam cradled the now unconscious and breathing Dean in his arms. He lifted him gently and placed him on the bed. The knowledge that he had of medicine coursed through his mind. He stood and walked out the door to the impala, opened the truck and got the near dead emergency kit out. He paced slowly back to the room trying to decide. His blood wouldn't work it was tainted. Dean needed blood and fast. Slowly he considered his options.


	10. Chapter 10 A burning desire

**I decided to post this sooner rather than later simply because I would love a reaction to it. I just need to know if it goes too far. The Latin is followed by the English simply because not many of us read it and I don't want to interrupt the story for someone to go look it up. **

**Thank you to the wonderful people who have read this so far. **

**Sorry it took so long to update but with some of this I wonder if posting it is going too far.**

**Please mind the rating folks… If you don't like it I love bad reviews as much as good. **

_\ He paced slowly back to the room trying to decide. His blood wouldn't work it was tainted. Dean needed blood and fast. Slowly he considered his options._

He didn't want the angel to have her blood running through his brother's veins nor did he want his own. Hopped up on the demon blood that strengthened his powers and allowed him to keep Dean alive might hurt Dean psychologically more than he was hurt physically. This was not an option. He sighed in frustration, his eyes moving across to the angel.

"Lorem putavi hoc dixisti" _ I thought you said you would fix this, _Sam whispered hugging Dean to his chest. Sam shook himself. It was him or nothing. He sighed before walking out to the Impala the cold biting at his skin. He pulled out an old inversion set up his father taught him how to use.

"Non figere omnia" _I can't fix everything _ the woman covered in blood whispered.

"I am a match," he whispered to himself, "Dean needs blood and I am a match demon blood be damned." At the time he thought he was doing the right thing. He walked back into the room staring at his brother blood still seeping from the wound in his neck. He reached down and felt the weak thread of his brother's heart. He knew Dean needed blood now. There was not enough left in his system to keep him alive.

"daemonium sanguine?"_Demon blood_ the angel shook her head.

Sam quickly inserted the needle into his arm and watched the bottle fill up before sliding the needle into Dean's arm. He watched detached as the red liquid seeped from his own body towards his brothers. _You know this is wrong_ his mind spoke up brightly. _You know he will find out. _ Sam sighed as the blood from his body hit his brothers system. He closed his eyes and that was when his brother started to scream.

There is a slow burn seeping through him. It feels like someone is slicing though his veins cutting them slowly and carefully hitting every nerve. It slides through his body igniting every nerve on its way down. Flames of blue snuck down his spine branching out through his arms and legs, lapping at his skin from the inside. There was no end and no beginning just the fire. It ate away at his flesh leaving charred bits of blood and bone in its wake barely recognizable as human.

Dean stared at the charred thing that was once his torso his intestines gleaming a pinkish color as the flames from his nerves lapped at them between the blackened skin. He watched as they too caught turning from pink to red to black and the white of his spine became exposed. Vaguely he wondered what the rest of his body looked like seeing it from the inside as he was his abdomen. His heart still beat a frantic rhythm in his chest but as he gazed at what was once a broad expanse of muscle he watched his ribs blacken as he took a breath. The white gleam of bone glistening pink with the flesh and muscle that should have been there, blood poured from the blacked holes that his ribs were rapidly becoming. For some reason he thought of beef ribs cooking on an open grill and wondered why it smelled the same. Cooking flesh was after all cooking flesh. Would he taste the same as the summer barbeque that he, his brother, and his father had so long ago. He reached down and scooped a bit of flesh that had been miraculously un-charred as yet. He brought it to his blackened lips, just a taste. Surprisingly it tasted different, gamier somehow. More like deer than beef.

His mind suddenly caught up with what he was doing and he began screaming again only now there was nothing left to scream with. The liquid blue fire had long since burned away the fleshy parts of his lips and tongue and still he burned feeling himself turn to ash and dust until there was nothing left.

**Yes I know it is short but intense, please please please review I really need to go how far is too far.**


	11. Chapter 11 or maybe cold

_His mind suddenly caught up with what he was doing and he began screaming again only now there was nothing left to scream with. The liquid blue fire had long since burned away the fleshy parts of his lips and tongue and still he burned feeling himself turn to ash and dust until there was nothing left._

Sam watched his brother writhe on the bed Dean's deep baritone screams ever rising as he thrashed. Dean's voice sounded strange as the wind whistled through what was left of the hole in his throat that was still weeping blood staining the maroon bedspread darker than it would have been. _What have I done_. The guilt ridden voice echoed in his head. There was no stopping it now as the forces in Dean's head and blood warred for control. Dean's eyes rolled back in his head anguish obvious in his voice and posture. Sam had the strange thought that his brother now had two smiles. This thought brought the vague awareness that he had no idea how much of the damage that the "angel" repaired or how much damage she'd done in the first place.

Dean's voice quieted suddenly leaving a stillness in the room that hadn't been a minute ago. A choked gurgling noise now issued from Sam's brother as if he was struggling to breathe through god knows what was left of his throat. It sounded for all the world that it was filling up with blood. _Perhaps it was, perhaps your brother is choking on your blood. Maybe that is what is happening. _The thought was irrational. The blood was put in there IV not swallowed. Sam wondered vaguely if which was better. He also wondered what was going on through his big brothers mind. It wasn't much longer that his brother was no longer stilled. Dean's face contorted to a mask of pain again.

Dean looked down perplexed though charred his body was mostly whole again. He wondered vaguely how he was still seeing after having felt his eyes boil and slide down his cheeks. They had popped and cracked before the liquid slipped slowly almost tear-like down his cheek. Tear-like but more viscous.. He knew that feeling from having eaten the eyes of a sheep once when he had nothing else to eat.

The white substance still coated his cheeks. He closed his eyes realizing that this could not be happening. _Not real _his traitorous mind whispered as he felt metal pierce his back sliding in ever so slowly cutting through muscle and bone. The sharpness of it scraping against his shoulder blade he was sure cutting rivets into them. More metal pierced his back looping around his spine and tightening down as if to tug it from his body all the while the liquid fire spreading through his veins.

Flesh began to blister from his body again only this time not from heat but from cold. His limbs felt leaden as he stared down at his hands. He studied them carefully as if they were some sort of experiment as they turned blue and then a blue black as cold numbed them. Reaching behind him where the metal entered his body he tried to grasp the metal entering him. As his fingers closed around it he felt them shatter. Shards of broken flesh and bone tinkled to the metal floor as to his horror he realized that his hand had shattered just about the wrist. The red gleamed from the floor inside its ice blue casing. He stared dumbly down at what used to be his thumb which seemed to be the only digit that made it to the ground intact. An obscenely white bit of bone stuck out from the jagged red and blue casing.

"No" he whispered staring at the ruined frozen stump that was where his hand should have been. The tips of the radius and ulna stuck out obscenely only now beginning to drip with the slow plink plink of blood hitting the metal flooring. The burn remained coursing through his body making it do things that should not have been possible.

SPN

Sam's eyes were riveted to his brother's form as his brother whispered "No" shaking his head even more violently on the bed before growing still again. He quickly unhooked the IV as he realized it was still in his arm pumping his poisoned blood into his brothers pure body.

"Sammy, Sammy Sammy," A familiar voice mocked from the corner of the room. "You really didn't think your tainted blood would do your brother any good did you?" Sam didn't glance over as he already knew who was there."What doesn't kill you makes me stronger."

"You see he was pure and you well…. We know what you are." The voice continued.

The angel's eyes widened, as she was forgotten in the corner. Her voice entered a strange cadence as she watched the brothers.

SPN

Dean's eyes snapped open unseeing. The blown pupils stared at nothing before him riveted on something far away that only he could see.

They were coming, thousands of them, coming to see, to stand and watch, to participate. Thorny cords whispered up from the ground encircling his arms and legs each thorn slicing like barbed-wire through his flesh wrapping itself down to his bone, digging in there.

_Hurry they are coming,_ A soft familiar voice whispered into his ears. _I can't he whined._ Staring down at the tethers that were rapidly pulling him towards the ground reaching greedily for his neck and other places that should not be named.

SNP

Sam simply bowed his head.

"You're going to need more." The voice from the corner of the room mocked. "You gave it to him and now you are going to need more."

Sam shook his head in denial.

"Come on, I know where you can get some." The voice continued, "It will be easy and we'll be back before anyone knows you are gone." Absently Sam unsnapped the leather bracelet he wore counting the neat lines on his wrist. "Don't worry about that," the voice continued.

"Dean…" Sam asked softly reaching out his hand still dripping blood from the IV. "Dean please wake up."


	12. Chapter 12 someone else's nightmare

**I will give a cookie to anyone who even guesses what is happening to Sam and Dean in this chapter. I was in a darker than usual mood when I wrote it. Again every disclaimer applies. This is dark and perhaps will get darker.**

**You know as much as they torture Sam and Dean in the series I seriously doubt they would do this to them even though it could be done with a little editing. **

**Again I don't own I just like to play with other peoples toys.**

"_Dean…" Sam asked softly reaching out his hand still dripping blood from the IV. "Dean please wake up." He unhooked the IV quickly closing the wound on Dean's wrist. Dean's body shuddered as the needle was removed. _

But Dean didn't wake up or rather his eyes were open but there was nothing behind them.

"Dean," Sammy tried again, his mind registering the soft echo of words from the angel crouching in the corner. "Dean please, I need you," Sam reached out and grasped his brother's hand shuddering at how cold it was. It was like ice, it was like hell. There was something wrong about the hand. Not just that it was cold but it was so still so completely still. Sam slipped his hand down to the pulse point on Dean's wrist. He sighed as he felt a faint pulse but even that beat with ice.

"You're gonna need more," the man in the corner whispered in his ear. Sam tried to drown it out but he knew the longer he went, the more he gave, the stronger the figure would get. "Castiel please help me." Sam said without thinking. His attention turning at last from his brother to the angel cowering in the corner.

"You said it before," he addressed her in English. "You said Castiel."

The angel looked at him in confusion. Sam sighed he hated this. The endless hours of practicing to get things just right. He dreaded this thinking only of his father and exorcisms. _"Vos dixit ante" _ he tried again frustrated. _"vos dixit castiel?" _The angel looked up realizing she was being addressed.

"Abominationem," the angel spat. "Te fecit hoc et impia actus" _And you did this wicked act_

"She has a point," the voice in the corner said.

"Shut up! " Sam ground out finally unable to take the commentary. Addressing the angel, "You're the one that cut his head off bitch," he snapped not carrying if she understood or not.

Sam then noticed the cold radiating from his brother. It wasn't just his hand the was cold but almost all of him even his skin was starting to take a bluish cast. His lips were going cyanotic. Sam quickly climbed into bed with Dean holding himself against his brother trying to will some of this warmth back into the cold form. "No he couldn't be dying, no, no, no, no, no," his head echoed.

SPN

The ice slipped through Dean's veins. Each tendril seeping into the bone chilling it from the marrow each thorn injecting its poison. Dean glanced down at his legs. The obsidian black floor reflecting his horror back up at him in a mirror image. The things were almost through his ankles curling around cutting them off. He could feel the thorns slicking through his bone as easily as the pie he liked so much.

"What's your problem Deano," a wicked voice echoed around him. "Don't like being torn apart by your little brother." The voice slithered into his mind. "He's been waiting to get rid of you, you know that."

The black tendrils still tightened as Dean noticed the smaller bits of his toes and body falling off.

"He'll never know you started the whole thing when you broke, Sam's suffering all from what you did, How do you think he would feel if he knew that every problem that he's had to face, Me, the demon, blood, the guilt, the shame, the self hatred, were all because of your inability to withstand a bit of torture."

"That's a lie." Dean gasped out as the vines began to retract.

Someone stood before him, his blurred vision trying to make sense of the figure. "No its not, I am an angel of the lord, I cannot lie."

"It's not true, he did those things on his own."

"Big brother supposed to protect little Sammy, and you failed ultimately." The figure said coming clearer. "You started it and you never told him. You never took the blame from him, you just accused him of exactly what you are."

The figure became clearer. Slivery, blue black wings spread out behind the man. His face wasn't hideous nor was it unscarred. Long black hair hung down around the figures face framing in. The figure cocked its head to the side. "You broke and he paid for it, he's still paying for it. He always will." The angel gestured with a delicate hand. He truly was graceful as he stepped forward. "Remember I can't lie. Even though some call me the father of them I can't. How did it feel when you tortured them? Was the first one hard or did it give you the same hard-on you have for your brother."

A bell like laugh sounded. "Oh you did that one all on your own, he is beautiful mind you but come on on he's your brother…." The figure let himself trail off. "Did you think that I wouldn't know, that the other angels don't know?" The black leather the angel wore became apparent. It fit perfectly. "You don't think I know what you do in the shower after little Sammy boy comes out in a towel" The bell like laughter sounded again. "You know you really are one sick boy." The figures snapped his finger and the black obsidian surface began to change, to become softer and squish under foot.

Dean risked a look down, he was standing in something, something red and viscous with white shards sticking up poking his ankles.

"Could you stomp on him any further," the figure laughed "Yeah, my sense of humor has been called a little too literal."

Dean looked, really looked at what he was standing in. He noticed a shaggy blood soaked shock of hair where the thing he was standing on's head should have been. "Oh god Sammy no…" he shrieked jumping to the side dropping to his knees. He gently turned the head and saw Sam's sightless eyes staring up at him. A soft gurgle emanated from the figure.

"It's ok Dean, I won't tell…" The figure stepped toward Dean the wings curving towards him. Dean tried to scramble away. The figure just moved forward. Dean looked at the wings for the very first time. Things seemed to be moving in them beyond the shiny glimmer. Faces writhed within their glossy feathers. Tortured, torn faces agony clearly showing in their contorted features. "Don't worry it will be all right." The figure moved inexorably towards him massive wings outstretched. Dean could see hands reaching from the wings as if behind a glass wall they couldn't penetrate. Dean scrambled as far as he could before he bumped against something wet and squishy.

He risked a glance down again only to realize it was the corpse of his brother with the corpse of his old friend Bobby lying next to it. The corpses stared at him accusingly. He saw the accusation in their eyes.

"You did this to me ya idgit," Bobby's voice sounded from the impossible angle his head was bent. "You did this." Bobby's dead hands fell away from his stomach and pink intestines spilled onto the floor.

"No, you were shot…" Dean protested glancing down at the weight in his hand. He saw the blood covered knife, his favorite, the one that Sam had given him for his birthday. Suddenly there was no feeling in that hand has the knife fell from it. The clattering was deafening as it the floor.

"It's ok, " The figure said now from right behind him. Dean didn't realize what was happening until the black wings were wrapped securely around him. A macabre dead feeling began to seep into him as the wings wrapped tighter. Hopelessness and despair spread through him like wildfire, sapping his strength and will to live or to fight as the wings wrapped tighter.

SPN

The angel watched the pair closely not sure what to make of them. The thing stroked the human's hair lovingly. She could almost feel the younger try and will what body heat he had into the human.

Sam clutched at his brother, maneuvering Dean so that he was behind him. "No, no, no,no" Dean muttered, "No Sammy god no." Sam pulled Dean's back to his chest in a loving embrace wrapping his arms and legs against the smaller man. Sam laid his head into the crook of Dean's neck tears falling freely against his brothers cheek and neck. "Please…." Dean whimpered.

"God what do I do," Sam pleaded against Deans neck.

"Tu eum ad deum" _you let him go to god. _The angel took that moment to speak up perplexed at the obvious love that the two had for each other.

"Fuck you, I don't know if that translates but Fuck you." Sam growled vehemently.

He pushed away from his brother laying him gently down on the bed.

"That a boy," the voice in the corner said.

Sam looked towards the angel. "Non ego stridebo super vos movere" _Don't you move or I will crush you._

Sam carefully tucked the covers around his brother, adding a blanket from the other bed. His brothers eyes were still open but there seemed to be something missing from them now. Something dead even though he still breathed. Sam ran his hands though his already tousled hair. His hands beginning to shake.

"What happens when it doesn't get rid of me?" the voice in the corner said.

"It will," Sam whispered back "Keep her in check." He knew better but said it anyway as he left the room.

**At this point I am wondering if anyone is reading this…. If you are drop me a review, or just something to say you read it.**


	13. Chapter 13 Different yet the same

**I don't own them. I wouldn't be writing fanfiction if I did…. I think I could do far more useful things to them. **

**Remember this isn't a love story otherwise it wouldn't have the warnings on it.**

_Sam carefully tucked the covers around his brother, adding a blanket from the other bed. His brothers eyes were still open but there seemed to be something missing from them now. Something dead even though he still breathed. Sam ran his hands though his already tousled hair. His hands beginning to shake. _

"_What happens when it doesn't get rid of me?" the voice in the corner said._

"_It will," Sam whispered back "Keep her in check." He knew better but said it anyway as he left the room._

Sam didn't have to look very far for what he needed, what he craved. The blood he'd given Dean despite the side effects took a lot out of him, holding the angel down hurt more than he let on. This was easier than he thought. For some reason this town contained more than its share of demons. "Maybe it's something in the water?" the voice from the back seat piped up. "Maybe it is just you."

"Shut up" Sam whispered "Shut up, shut up, shut up." He repeated the mantra, "You'll be gone soon." He assured himself. This time not so confidently. He pulled up beside an old disused gas station his mind screaming demon. He stepped out of the Impala, closing the door with a deafening creak. The gas station was closed for the night but a sign still blinked in the window. It took Sam a second to register what it actually said. In red neon it should have said a very friendly "Hello There!" Somehow some of the letters had stopped working. Sam smirked despite himself. It now read "Hell_ Here." Appropriate he muttered to himself eyeing the street walker who leaned casually against the building.

She watched him approach her gaze never leaving his lithe form. She put a leg up against the red brick wall, her skirt hiking up almost obscenely revealing fishnet stockings and garters. Sam barely noticed. He smiled at the woman.

"You really shouldn't be here." He smirked as he approached her.

"Well sugar, where should I be?" Sam glanced around the station and the road beyond.

"Not here." He grinned taking in the general filth of the station and its garage. He reached out and grabbed her wrist in a loose almost gentle grip, guilt suddenly eating at him. "_It's for Dean." _He thought to himself trying to push past the guilt that began to eat away in the pit of his stomach, knowing what he was about to do. "No it's not" the voice behind him mocked.

"Is there some place we could umm go." He said quietly trying to curb the craving not wanting to scare the girl.

"Behind the building is fine." Sam raised an eyebrow at this. It was close to the road and there was not much in this town to keep the cops busy. He just nodded though keeping his loose grasp on her wrist. He only half listened when she began to discuss price and rules. As they walked behind the building Sam noticed a strangeness about the place. Something was wrong but he couldn't put his thumb on it.

"So handsome, how do you like it." Sam just shook his head as his he tightened his grip and pushed her roughly against the wall. "_There's a girl in there" _he reminded himself as he wrapped both his hands around her wrists and pulling them above her head. He could feel her pulse beat in her wrists. The blood called to him pulling at something deep within. "Hey no rough stuff." The girl squeaked in protest as he pinned her hands above her in one of his. His other hand snaked behind his back and pulled out the knife that Dean ironically gave him years ago. It had his initials carved in the handle. He felt almost guilty using it.

The girls eyes became wide as she saw the knife, making him doubt that she was in fact a demon. There was only one knife that demon's were typically frightened of. It took him a second to realize it was not the knife she was staring at but something over his shoulder. He'd been so wrapped up in her blood that he didn't hear the footsteps behind him. He leaned in and whispered to her, "It will be alright." Not knowing who he was reassuring, surely the demon could take care of itself.

"What are you doing here boy?" the redneck drawl grated on Sam's nerves.

"None of your business I suggest that you move along." Sam said quietly not turning his attention away from the girl. The draw of her blood was a strong one. "Watch out little Sammy boy." The voice beside him said quietly as Sam realized that the blood was all around him.

"Well.. well… well.." the redneck drawl continued "Boy's we've got us a real life hunter here." The drawl annoyed Sam more than anything. He risked a glance back toward the man or rather men. "_Damn why didn't he hear them come up" _his mind raced frantically.

"Because I didn't want you too," the ever present person beside him chose that moment to pipe up.

"I just have some business with the girl," Sam tried hopefully.

"Ya happen to have business with my girl." The redneck shoved something hard and cold in his back. The damp sweat and something rotten assailed Sam's sense of smell. This one had been around a long time. Keeping his hand on the girl he turned slowly seeing the object presses up against his lower back for the first time as he heard the familiar click of a pump shotgun being cocked.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Sam smirked, images of his brother alone with the angel flooding his mind. This was supposed to be quick he wanted to get back. He sighed turning his attention away from the girl. He wasn't surprised when the rednecks eyes turned black. Using what little he had left from earlier he managed to hold the demon with the gun at bay trying to ignore the smell coming from the man. He reached forward pulling the barrel of the gun against his chest. "If you are going to I suggest you shoot."

The demon's eyes widened as he tried to pin Sam against the wall. Sam sighed loudly and grasped the gun yanking the redneck off balance before sinking the knife into the man's stomach with a sick sucking noise. "You really are ruining my night." He pulled the guy closer pulling the knife out and slicing cleanly through the guys throat. The spray of blood hit him before he could pull the guy into an embrace.

Sam's senses went red as he wrapped his mouth around the cut drinking deeply. After all one demon was as good as another. This one tasted different though. He couldn't quite place it. When the man in front of him fell he watched the man's skin was ghostly white he'd been drained but there was something more to it. He was not just drained but gone. His body too damaged to be saved. Sam was definitely getting stronger, as weas his appetite. He realized now that the redneck was young just out of hell. Sam sighed as he watched the last rise and fall of the man's chest. He was smirking as the other two ran. It was easy enough to pull them from their bodies now he drank.

Slowly, methodically, the blood coursing through his veins he turned back to the girl who stood frozen and staring at her dead lover. She babbled something that he didn't care to hear. Surprised that she was even still there he turned toward her. His eyes glowing with an unnatural light, the body she was in was so young, so fragile his fingers twitched to wrap around the pretty slender neck. Something in the back of his head was bothering him about her. Mercifully the voice and presence was quiet. She couldn't have been more than 14 or 15 years old.

"When were you taken," he said staring at her still.

"Taken?" she looked perplexed. Could it be that she didn't know. She hastily pulled at her too short skirt eyeing Sam.

"It's in you," He stated simply feeling the demon course through her and a thought crossed his mind. Demon blood was in her but even though he'd just drained her boyfriend, pimp, or whatever he was she didn't try anything, even when his back was turned. He moved toward her the blood soaked knife gleaming wickedly in the red neon light, "Hell Here" was reflected on her skin giving it a ghastly red cast. He reached out and loosely grabbed her wrist again. "What are you?" he spoke his voice rough.

"What do you mean?" She still looked perplexed.

"I mean what are you," He approached her, pulling her towards him into an embrace holding one of her hands out.

"I'm nothing, " She whispered trying to jerk away as the knife slid cleanly into her arm. Blood welled to the surface, drawing him. Without thinking he clamped his mouth around her bleeding wrist. Yes the demon was there but not there. He pulled gnawing at the flesh, the blood flowing into his mouth and for a few minutes that is all he cared about. Pulling back from her he rolled the coppery liquid around his mouth for a moment. He shook his head before dipping his mouth back to the now ragged wound. The blood was there alright but tasted different. He shook his head forcing himself to draw back and shove her away from him.

"Run," he whispered barely audible, "Run now." She edged away from him holding her gnawed wrist to her chest. He closed his eyes willing her to get away from him before he lost control again. Still she stood like a deer caught in headlights. He shook himself, "Run!" he almost screamed he is hand slamming into the brick beside her head, anything to control the lust for her. She whimpered and just cradled her hand to her chest.

"Stupid girl" he growled reaching for her once again. The knife flashed in the red light. Guilt washed over him at what he was about to do. One clean slice and blood began to pour from the wound at her neck. The feeling of her life draining into him was almost sexual making him half hard in his jeans as he lapped at her neck. He closed his eyes and for a moment allowed himself to think of Dean pushed against the wall. Dean pressed against his body. The thoughts came unbidden to his mind screaming that it was wrong. He ground against her as the blood drained into his mouth. He swallowed it greedily his mind elsewhere. His mind on a hard muscled body. He pulled back as he felt her heart slow. Dropping her almost alive body down to the hard dirty pavement beneath her, tiny bits of glass embedding themselves into her soft flesh. . It wasn't until then that he realized she was not a demon but more like him than he originally suspected. His mind screamed for him to stop this knowing it was wrong. He knew suddenly what she was and more like him than he thought.

Sam closed his eyes for a moment thinking only of his brother laying in a crappy motel bed his eyes glazed over. He left her where she lay and strode back to the Impala. "What am I doing?" he questioned not for the first time. "God what I am doing," his voice cracked as he said it aloud to the interior of the car. His eyes slid closed as he felt himself perform the now familiar action of unsnapping the leather bracelet he wore and sliding the knife across his wrist hard and deep. He hissed as it slid into his flesh Not bothering to look at the cut he snapped the bracelet back on knowing it would turn a darker red as he drove back to the motel and his bother.


	14. Chapter 14 bad things can happen

"_God what I am doing," his voice cracked as he said it aloud to the interior of the car. His eyes slid closed as he felt himself perform the now familiar action of unsnapping the leather bracelet he wore and sliding the knife across his wrist hard and deep. He hissed as it slid into his flesh Not bothering to look at the cut he snapped the bracelet back on knowing it would turn a darker red as he drove back to the motel and his bother._

Dean felt the desperation and despair flood through his veins. This was not him but what gripped him tightly from behind. It was the sick sort of despair that came only from one who has truly known it. It slid through him and before he knew what he was doing he was leaning back against the figure behind him. The wings wrapped tighter around him covering him completely. The arches stretching over his head and face locked almost around him. He smelled sulfur and pain.

"So this is what they mean by brimstone" his mind whispered as he tried to breath against the smothering feathers. His breath hitched as the soft down began to choke him. The darkness seemed to slide down his throat filling his lungs. He choked on it as it stole his breath. Gradually the wings released leaving him with the feeling of self loathing that only someone who is guilty could have. The cold of the room seeped towards him after the warmth that threatened to smother him. Black smoke still soaked into his lungs. He coughed trying desperately to expel it from his body. It clung to his throat an acidic taste. He inhaled only to find out that he could not exhale. He tried to close his lungs trying desperately to get his frozen lungs moving again. He sucked in a breath only to find his lungs painfully swollen. He couldn't even cough, there was no more room in his lungs for air or anything else.

Clutching his throat he fell to his knees, not even noticing the pain as he hit the cold obsidian floor. He could not scream, he couldn't even make a sound as the smoke still filled his lungs forcing them outward until he felt as if they were going to explode. He felt his ribs crack and expand as the bone separated from the cartilage of his sternum with every expansion. He looked down only to see the skin of his chest rip open exposing the snapped solid joints.

"I can make it stop," that seductive voice said behind him. "I can always make it stop." The voice slammed through his fear and pain. "Just nod, just say yes and I will stop it." Dean had time to wonder vaguely what he was saying yes to as he felt his lungs explode into tiny wet pieces that sprayed the ground in front of him. He nodded with the only strength he had left. A soft chuckle came from behind him as he nodded trying not to think of the tiny pink pieces of lung that littered the ground. He felt the breeze inside his body as his oxygen starved body still tried to take in and expel air despite the majority of his lungs on the ground before him.

Long arms wrapped around his chest reaching inside the holes there, pain sizzled through his chest as clawed fingers dug through his body putting the pieces back together before forcibly adjusting the bone back into its allotted slots on his sternum.

"Remember you said yes," The voice whispered as it finished mending is skin. There was a grinding noise as a stone slab rose from the center of the room he was in. Arms remained wrapped around him not hard but almost gently. "This is going to hurt you a lot more than it hurts me," came the chuckle again.

"Shh don't be afraid, you have nothing to fear from me," the soothing voice whispered. The hardness against his back belayed the truth. "You want this don't you?" that voice questioned, "You want me just like you want your brother, did you want your father too?" The voice continued softly crooning against his neck. "I can be anything you want." It whispered now in Sammy's voice, "Anyone you want."

Dean found himself bent over the table cold chains sliding out to fasten themselves around his wrists. They tightened quickly pulling his body taunt bent over the slab. A sharp nail slid down his spine, slicing what remained of his shirt away. It slid to the jeans he was miraculously still wearing slipping cleanly through the denim. Dean heard rather than felt the sharp snap of ankle cuffs. They tightened on their own until his legs were spread wide. Dean's mind raced not ever touching on what this position would mean.

"Would you like some company?" the ever so seductive voice whispered. "Sammy maybe" Dean did his best to look up from the slab realizing what was about to happen. He began to struggle against the bonds that held him. "Maybe he should go first, he'll remember what it felt like but will you?"

"No" was the only word that Dean could muster as his baby brother appeared before him similarly stretched opposite him their hands almost touching. "Sammy," he whimpered as he saw the look of terror on Sam's features. It was true Sam knew what was coming. Dean wasn't sure how he knew but he knew. A dark figure drew up behind his brother. Its black wings spread behind it as it approached his brother. The being wore no clothing. "Perhaps we should invite one other to join the party, heaven knows that he's done it before, it got very boring down here."

A white glaring light appeared suddenly behind Sam. Dean squeezed his eyes shut as he realized that it was the archangel that had stepped behind his brother. The darkness stepped aside. "it did get boring down here with only your little brother to play with didn't it?" the dark being asked as the light one drew closer.


	15. Some things should stay secret

**Not mine but I do so like other peoples toys.**

**If you haven't figured it out then you will eventually.**

_A white glaring light appeared suddenly behind Sam. Dean squeezed his eyes shut as he realized that it was the archangel that had stepped behind his brother. The darkness stepped aside. "it did get boring down here with only your little brother to play with didn't it?" the dark being asked as the light one drew closer._

"You know this isn't real right?" the silky voice continued to croon. "Well it was once but it isn't this time. "Would you like to see what really happened? Do you really want to know?" the voice ended the last question with a malicious note. "Would you rather have your own story or know the real one?"

"Real?" Dean hesitated, his mind racing, was he being selfish, did he really want to see this, why was this happening, what was going on.

"Such a pity, we could have had so much more fun with the two of you." The voice echoed in his head. He looked into Sam's terrified eyes and realized that this was not the first time, realized that Sam at least knew what was coming.

"Sammy, I'm here, I'm here for you," Dean managed to choke out his fingers just brushing Sam's across the table.

"De" Sam whispered as he closed his eyes tears falling from them as glorious black wings stretched out to either side of him. Dean knew instinctively that Sam didn't know he was there. He knew by the look in his brother's eyes that his presence wasn't a comfort but a plea to him. The immense obsidian wings curled forward as Lucifer slammed into Sam's unprepared body. The scream that it tore from Sam was unholy and broke Dean's heart as it was his name that he screamed.

Sam fought harder than Dean thought that Sam, could blood sliding down the metal collar he wore, seeping from the burning metal around his wrists, and pooling on the floor from an unknown source that Dean didn't want to imagine. The devil worked himself inside of his Sam until with a roar the wings were thrown back as black hands dug into Sam's hips one final time, nails leaving bloody scratches on the soft flesh. Sam closed his eyes fresh tears spilling from them as his head rested against the cold stone. The devil stepped back.

"Not done yet my baby boy," He leaned over Sam's restrained body. "Remember you dragged us both in here and you have to amuse both of us. There are worse things that this you know."

Dean closed his eyes the image of his baby brother burned into the lids, not fading into the blackness that he sought there. The devil laughed. "Would you like to know what it felt like?" he directed his question at Dean. "Would you like to know what your baby brother felt like?" To his shame Dean shook his head his eyes still closed as bright light flashed behind his lids. He was still tied so he couldn't cover his ears against Sam's screams. He knew what the brightness was and he knew what was happening but he couldn't bear to face it. He couldn't bring himself to witness it. Then as suddenly as it began the screaming stopped and deafening silence began. The smell of blood and sulfur was almost overwhelming as Dean fought to control his breathing. Suddenly he realized that his breath was the only one he could here. Stretched as he was he couldn't pull away as he opened his eyes. Before him and behind Sam stood the most beautiful creature he'd ever seen. Its white wings sparkled in the gloom of Hell and an angelic smile graced its lips. Bright blue eyes seem to stare through him. He bent over Sam. His delicate long fingered hands wrapped so easily around the young man's throat.

Sam's eyes were glazed over, their normal hazel a faded cataract grey reflected in the light of the creature over him. Bruises old and new shown on the delicate skin of his brother's neck as the point was driven home yet again that this was not the first time this had happened. A soft laugh echoed through the room its musical sound almost like bells so out of place with the scene before him that Dean had to blink to clear his eyes.

The long slim fingers released and Dean was relieved to hear Sam draw a shaky breath. It wheezed out of him as he struggled to fight for air even though nothing was restraining his throat any longer. The metal restraints unlocked themselves and slid back into some unknown receptacle. Without them holding him up Sam sank back down out of Dean's sight. Dean's own restraints slide from him and he found his legs weak. Trying to remain upright he watched the beautiful angel smirk.

"Would you like this to end Sammy boy?" It whispered, its voice almost as beautiful as its laugh. It picked Sam up and laid him bleeding on the slab. Blood seeped from a dozen claw marks the most obscene of which were on Sam's hips. Deep gouges with ragged bits of flesh marred Sam's perfect skin. "Would you like this to stop?" the voice whispered again. Sam nodded a barely perceptible movement as he lay in the exact position that the light angel put him in. The angel reached up and easily snapped Sam's neck. It twisted at an impossible angle so Sam was staring down rather than up at Dean. Dean watched in horror as the light drained rapidly from Sam's eyes. They glazed over becoming nothing like what Dean was used to. "I am after all an angel of mercy," the light angel grinned showing too many teeth.

"But I big brother am not" The dark angel grinned and snapped his fingers. Sam's neck instantly righted itself. "You see Michael we have eternity to amuse ourselves and only one thing to amuse ourselves with. You always did want to break my toys." Sam took a quivering breath out of a destroyed larynx.

"Please," he whimpered his eyes locked on Michael.

"I'm sorry Sammy, but my brother is right brothers usually are." Michael shook his head before floating up and away from the scene. Sam coughed a thick grey substance sliding from his throat mixing with the blood on the slab in front of him. Dean wanted to go to his brother, to comfort him but couldn't move. Sam curled into the fetal position wracking sobs pulled from him, Dean knew each breath was torture for his baby brother.

**Please review, it is good to know if I should keep writing this. Don't worry our lovely angel and Sam are up to troubling things as well.**


	16. 16 A completely normal thing except

_"I'm sorry Sammy, but my brother is right brothers usually are." Michael shook his head before floating up and away from the scene. Sam coughed a thick grey substance sliding from his throat mixing with the blood on the slab in front of him. Dean wanted to go to his brother, to comfort him but couldn't move. Sam curled into the fetal position wracking sobs pulled from him, Dean knew each breath was torture for his baby brother._

Sam stepped back into the dingy motel room more quietly than before. There was just the soft chanting from the angel and Dean's quiet moans. Sam didn't know what was going through his head but he could not possibly know what he was dreaming about. He watched for a moment not knowing what to do.

Sam walked over to the bed his brother lay on and placed a hand on Dean's shoulder. It seemed to calm him instantly. He only spared a glance at the angel who had obviously relaxed just a bit."

"Smmy" Dean whimpered.

"I'm here," the younger brother said quietly taking Deans hand, careful not to touch him with the bleeding, banded hand. He whispered soft reassurances to his brushing his hand through his brother's short hair. The angel took that moment to move from her corner. Sam stared at her waiting for the threat.

"I'm here Dean, I won't leave again." He whispered his attention more on the angel than on his brother. "I promise" He whispered placing a kiss on Dean's forehead. He glanced over at the angel who still was in the corner only now she was curled up with her knees to her chest and those deadly wings folded behind her. She was still covered in blood from her wounds but they seemed to be healing rapidly enough. Sam took a moment to be amazed at the fact that she was healing and what had caused the wounds in the first place. Obviously she'd been cut by her own wings but what about the others, the burns, the breaks surely they couldn't have just been from falling.

He looked at her his eyes softening. She looked so innocent and frightened curled in the corner. His hand still on Dean he stood and moved toward her. He held out his other hand to her.

SPN

She looked at it in fear. Its hand was stretched toward her palm up. At first she didn't understand what to do. It wanted something from her. Her eyes swept up from the hand to the face and eyes. Soft hazel eyes stared back at her. She shivered. How could it have such soft beautiful innocent eyes. It couldn't be good not with what it did not with what it was or what she thought it was. The hand moved again an almost impatient gesture. It wanted something from her.

"Venit," it said somewhat harshly "Venit." _Come _Her eyes moved from its to the hand that was outstretched to her. Obviously it wanted her to take his hand but she didn't understand why. Her mind reached out for the reason but found the older ones turmoil and cringed back from what she saw. She couldn't read It she could feel anything but a cold rush through her when she tried despite the warm eyes. She reached forward and placed her hand in his.

SPN

Sam was surprised at how soft her skin was. It was as if he was holding silk despite the sticky wet blood that coated it. Craving rose in him but he shook it off trying not to think of it knowing that it would just make things worse for them. She reeked of blood and he could barely stand to be this close to it. It made him want to lap at it. He had to do something about it before something bad happened. Closing his hand around hers he pulled her too her feet a bit too forcefully. She crashed into him her full weight pushing against his chest. The smell of blood made him grind his teeth against the pull of it. There was something wrong with her blood. He pushed her away keeping her hand in his trying to ignore the soft body covered in blood in front of him. He half dragged her towards the bathroom of the small motel room.

He pushed the bathroom door open with more force than he needed to. He let go of her hand to turn the shower on. "I hope those things don't rust lady" he growled as he adjusted the temperature to something close to warm. She shrank back when he pushed her into the shower but didn't resist. She had felt the power coursing through him and knew what he could do to her. Water rushed over her body and Sam turned away hoping she would know what to do from there.

SPN

Nothing felt better than the warm water, it was beautiful as it washed the stickiness off of her. She pushed and pulled at the bandages they'd placed on her getting them off wetting the wounds underneath. She stretched her wings out with a metallic click, turning to rinse them as well.

She jumped with a soft shriek as something was thrust at her. A small bar of odd looking material sat in the large hand in front of her. She stared at it. It shook its head in frustration before applying the bar to her arm. It felt good as the thing moved the bar along her arm the stickiness fading in a pinkish rush of foam. When it reached her hand it put the bar in it obviously indicating she was to do the rest herself. It pulled back as if in disgust and waited watching her with an appraising gaze. When she'd covered her body with the bar and washed away all the blood it handed her a bottle and gestured to her long silver hair. She looked at it quizzically.

"Sheesh," It said taking her shoulders and turning her back to it avoiding the deadly wings. It put some of the liquid into her silver and gold hair. It massaged it into her scalp before forcibly tilting her head back and turning her to rinse it.

SPN

Sam sighed, "Don't they teach you anything in angel school," he said knowing she wouldn't understand. He pushed her under the water to rinse and when the soap and blood was gone he reached for a towel. The angel shivered in the cold as he handed her the towel strangely not attracted to the naked form in front of him except for the craving. It was gone now that the blood was. Her body was still scarred with a glowing pink map of pain but no longer bleeding. He handed her the towel and went back into the main room. He pulled a pair of sweats and a shirt from Dean's bag making sure it wasn't one he would mind shredded and put them on the bed closest to the bathroom.

Sam returned to Dean's side. The angel watched curiously through the bathroom door still drying herself has Sam stroked a hand through his brother's hair, whispering comforting words to him not knowing what was going through his head. For once he wished he could read minds. Dean thrashed against the restraining covers, kicking them down and off his hands and legs moving as if restrained.

Sam looked down at his arms, thousands of tiny white scars showed, but no one had noticed before he got to this point. He wondered vaguely if anyone would notice. Castiel might but he was damaged and didn't answer. Sam damaged everything he touched. It wasn't like he tried to do it it just happened. He gently stroked Dean's forehead desperately wanting his big brother back with him and wondering what was going on in Dean's mind. He settled himself down next to his brother trying to fathom what he was seeing and what Sam's own blood was doing to his brother.

"I have you now." The voice echoed through Dean's mind. He saw himself standing before him. His visage having a horribly twisted grin on its features. A knife appeared in the hand of his captor. That knife, one of Dean's favorites slide easily in his own grasp. Dean couldn't believe what he was seeing he was about to be stabbed by himself.


	17. Perfect word counts

_**The word count was just too perfect not to upload now.**_

_He saw himself standing before him. His visage having a horribly twisted grin on its features. A knife appeared in the hand of his captor. That knife, one of Dean's favorites slide easily in his own grasp. Dean couldn't believe what he was seeing he was about be stabbed by himself._

He approached himself with the knife. It glittered in the white light that seemed to glitter from above. He recognized the knife, it was the one that Sam had given him years ago. It was the one that he slept with under his pillow and the one that saved him countless times. Dean frowned as he watched himself swagger towards him.

His double smiled "What's wrong Sammy boy?" he heard himself say.

"De" a soft voice whispered from inside him, "De please?"

"You always were a little bitch," the other Dean said mocking him, "How can you be such a freak? How could I be related to such a monster?"

"But…" the whisper came again, his brother's voice came.

"I knew I was going to have to kill you, I knew you would go dark side freak."

Dean screamed as the knife sliced through the skin on his bare stomach.

"I just didn't know how much fun it would be to do it," Dean's double laughed as he sliced another chunk of flesh from the real Dean's body.

"Moms dead because of you, I went to hell because of you, Dads dead because of you, Jessica is dead because of you, Jo, Ellen, who else are you gonna kill." The other Dean smirked at him. "I have been waiting to watch you bleed since dad said I was going to have to kill you."

"De please," the whisper that sounded more and more like a very young Sam begging.

SPN

Sam lay his head down on Dean's shoulder and held his brother tighter against his chest, his hand on his brother's heart feeling its horribly rapid beating, when he heard Dean's pitiful whimpering.

"Please Dean wake up." He placed a gentle kiss on his brother's shoulder unable to stop the tears from falling. He pressed his cheek against Dean's as he sat wrapped around him. His legs were held close on each side of Dean's body, his back against Sam's chest held there by Sam's tight grip. Sam willed his brother to wake up from whatever nightmare he was living. "Cas" Sam whispered "Cas, I know things are screwed up right now but please Dean needs you"

At the sound of Cas's name the angel's head snapped up. She stood from the bed that she sat on looking more like a marble statue than a moving being. She watched the brothers her head cocked to the side. She walked toward the pair cautiously her wings folded behind her close to her body. Standing at the edge of the bed she looked puzzled.

Sam glared at her willing her to stay as far away from him and his brother as she could get in the tiny hotel room. The dim light of the two barely working light bulbs reflected off of her alabaster skin. Sam stroked Dean's hair protectively, never taking his eyes off the angel.

"I'm sorry we brought you here, I'm sorry we rescued you, and I am sorry you still breathing," he growled knowing she wouldn't understand a word he said.

"That's the demon in you talking Sammy boy" the voice from the corner echoed. "Would you like to see what your brother is experiencing right now? I can show you. But wait," the figure assumed an embarrassed expression, "You already know."

Wings flared at the hatred in Sam's voice making a strange rattling noise. The youngest Winchester just raised an incredulous eyebrow at her. "Really" he said mocking her. "Seriously" He shook his shaggy head laughter bubbling from his lips. He wasn't really sure if it was sane laughter or not.


End file.
